If I gave a birth to my boy at 18 or 20, I would already have a grandchild, the peer to my son. But this age difference has never been a problem for both of us. At least this is what I think. I fully understand him, live his life and share his interests. We are like friends. He has no secrets from me: he tells me absolutely everything and I also share my own stuff with him. Even if it’s something really bad, sooner or later, he still tells me. From the early childhood I tried to instill him one rule: “You won’t be punished for the truth, cause sooner or later, when lie is revealed, it won’t be forgiven and you will have to face the double responsibility”. At least, in his relationships with close ones he never lies. He is very straightforward. Sometimes, when there is a case, when you have to manipulate somehow, he never does it. He either cannot or simply doesn’t want to.
However, he is very reserved at the same time, especially when it comes to me personally. He will never ever tell bad things about me, moreover talk behind my back with someone. None of his mates, know about my past and my disease. Only recently he started to understand everything. He knew from childhood, that I was heavily sick. When I learned about my HIV status, I told him, but he simply didn’y understand what I was talking about, since he didn’t even understand the meaning. He knew no one from my past, however didn’t already like them instinctively. I always tried to protect him from any kind of contact with them. When Edik was three, his father was put in jail, and when he was unprisoned, son was already 12. I started drinking hard, when Edik was around 11. It was a terrible year for me and for him, the year of my booze. Right now, he cannot stand looking at me, when I have a glass of beer. Within his boiling anger, the situation can easily end up in a scandal. I try to explain him that the nightmare, we used to live in is over, but he doesn’t want to listen to it. I understand him and try not to provoke him. I still feel so guilty and apologize for that year.
I read what I’ve just written and started to think. It wasn’t the only year in our life that I have to ask sorry for. He became an adult so early, learned what police was. He knew that he had to keep all the mess of our life in secret, not let anyone come to our house and never respond to the curious questions of strangers. He felt discriminated in the 3rd and 4rth grades. Once, his teacher heard from someone that I was in jail, and immediately started to treat him badly. First, it was expressed on words and later she started beating him.
When I first saw the blood on his face, covered with anger I rushed to the school and kicked her ass so she almost lost her speech. Unfortunately, it didn’t help in the end. She started to set classmates against him. She told kids that because of his bad mother, you shouldn’t communicate with him. Later, she told the same thing to their parents and soon dismissed her hands over again.
After that, I approached the school principal. Of course, she was brought on the teacher’s meeting and punished by a reprimand. But the situation didn’t get better with time. There was the only solution for this problem - to take the son out of this school. However, Edik wasn’t accepted to the schools nearby. When I came for the first time, they accepted him, but after calling to the former school and learning all the reasons of our leaving, they refused. Once I heard the conversation: “We don’t need a troublemaker here”. He started to miss classes. I was so scared for him, but with my way of living, with my permanent depression, I couldn’t change anything. I hated myself for this, cause all this forced me to break off and strengthened my will to die. It would have finished exactly like that, but God saved us. He always took care of my boy…
Eddie, you had a hard life indeed. Now I see why you have no friends. Even if there were some before this incident... How can you trust people, if your own mother does all she could to complicate your socialization. It's great for her to be fiercely loyal, but the reaction of your peers is evident and adaquate. Great that you've finished your school now. Forget all these, Eddie, try to live on without thinking of your past.
The son is the one who suffered most in this quarrel. I doubt if kids wanted to be friends with him after this mortal combat... I wouldn't want my mom to do a thing like this... It's quite clear that her nervs were not ok after all these years of drug use, but still... It frightens...
What the hell the teacher thought she was doing? Who is she to decide which kids are right and which are wrong? Such people mustn't be teachers! They have no right!
Oh, boy! Poor Eddie! I wouldn't like it to find myself in such a situation.
She had to go to right to the headmaster. That's his job to solve such questions and control his teachers. But this kind of kangaroo court can not be allowed in civilized society.
What the fuck the school security was doing when the woman came and kicked the ass of the teacher? Students can not feel secure in such situations either. Wht if a mother like that next time will think that some boys or girls were mean to her son? Will she come and kick them too?
Do they have a school psychologist at all? What did he do to settle the conflict between the teacher, a student and his mom?
Lyudmila, you write that the teacher was bad towards your son because of your condition. Don't you think it's your fault too? It's nice, of course, to speculate now how well you and your son understand and support each other? but I wonder what you had been thinking all these time. You wrote that your son is in his 20-s now, right? And all these years he saw a mother who is ready for anything to get drugs. Do you really think it didn't hurt him all this time? Do you believe it didn't affect his psychology? Didn't ruin his worldviewand his self-esteem? Don't you think he always felt a loser, a second best seeing the way all mothers cared of their kids and comparing their way of life with yours? Of course, he will never say it to your, because it hurts and he loves you and doesn't want to cause pain. But, really< you can't blame only other people for their attempts to secure thir kids from a son of a drug addicted woman. Company means a lot. They cared first of all about their children and their future. They didn't want them to witness regularly your example.
I don't think this encounter with his mom helped the boy to improve relations with teachers. Of coursem the teacher was wrong, but let's face it: Who will like a boy whose mother runs in "to kick ass" his teachers? Actually, the troublemaker is his mom, not the boy, but they two did cause troubles. I worked as a teacher for ten years and definitely I would give up a class where some drug user any time can come and beat me in front of my students. Who wouldn't? Who is ready to tolerate this? I can understand the headmaster, to tell the treuth.
Poor fellow! That boy, Eddie, had a tough childhood.