My story is original because i did not start using drugs till I was 37 years old.
A mother of two very normal had a god job, my own home. I met a man that owned a bar so it started out that he and i would snort cocaine when we would party or go to the bar. It started two nights a week then eventually led to five nights till am hours. Finally I couldn't keep my job, which was 8-5. So I quit my job.
Started working at his bar, then i met a girl that snorted oxycontin, she said oh a little won't hurt so i tried a small line. Then eventually it led to me getting my own 40mg pills... then i was up to snorting 8 a day. 320 mg a day.
Well i ended up getting my boyfriend into the pills. Which made it hard on our relationship, as the addiction to pills was expensive. A dollar a milligram. Do the math.
I ended up getting involved with people that shot up. He would never do the pills that way. So of course i tried it and loved it so i hid it from him for a while.
I ended up using every drug possible in a needle, oxycodone, cocaine, meth, morphine, bath salts, liquid methadone and heroin once. By the time i was 45 years old my life was out of control, drugs did me i didn't do them any more.
I ended up losing my home, all my furniture possessions, vehicles, drivers license. Ended up escorting (a fancy word for selling my body). So to make a long story short i have hit bottom.
Until now at 46 years old is when i finally got clean. The main thing was i did it for me! I was ready. I tried in the past in those long dark 7 years but i only tried for my kids and then boyfriend. no no not a good reason cuz i always used again.
Well you have to finally have enough of who u are or u became! Or see that you miss the person you knew when u were clean. Until then u won't be a success, i will tell you i ended up in jail for 44 days, and every time there was church service i would attend... every time! I would get some words from it that were meant for me, like being put in there was a gift!
I know it sounds crazy but to me it was a gift. it allowed me time to be clean and see the old Juli that i use to be and actually led me to be a better version of the old one. I can tell you i used drugs originally because I was not happy and didn't love myself. But God was and still is my only way out. I believe the night i got arrested. was probably the night i would have done a shot that would of killed me! Because God knows i did a lot of drugs in that seven years. Enough to have killed me but i was stubborn.
It took jail and me losing everything to see what the answer was. I did it for me and God. i feel good i have been clean 60 days. I have little desire to use again, only because i did not like the women i was. i am finding the true women and God gave me a chance that night and a gift of sobriety.
I used my experience that was a bad one, for my good. Which i believe with God i will stay clean this time. Cuz i want to be this way. I love me more than i ever have in years maybe ever!? Love your self and God enough to get strong. Find reasons to hate drugs and the person you are on them.
good luck, Juli
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